In one of the earlier years of the last decade, a friend gave me a leather-bound notebook beautiful enough I decided then and there it was to preserve my most intimate thoughts and dreams, the year-end reflections.
Fast-forward almost 10 years later, the notebook has less than 20 of its pages filled out. At some point, I stopped writing. Why bother, I thought, noticing the transformation I had undergone as a person was so incrementally small from one year to another.
At the dawn of this new year, I once again don’t feel so drastically wiser than I was a year ago. And yet, something feels different.
Despite the imperceptibly small changes I underwent from year to year, I am today a whole lot more grounded than I was 10 years ago. Indeed, we tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in the short term but underestimate what we can accomplish in the long term.
Personal growth would have been meaningless should it not be for the benefit of others. So here are a couple of lessons I have learned along the way.
I hope it helps ease the anxiety of my younger friends who are still going through the great uncertainties of their 20s.
On finding love:
1. Physical attraction wears off. Look for those with characters, virtues, and values that resonate with yours where it is nonnegotiable and complementary where you still have some room to grow. Respect and admiration are the few things that last.
2. Many of the most beautiful people are beautifully broken. Even when things don’t work out, the pain, which always goes away with time, makes you a better person. Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.
On finding peace & happiness:
1. Surround yourself with only people who build you up, even when it is easy for them to tear you down.
2. Life is fragile. Being alive and out of pain is a privilege many cannot afford. Be thankful for this one life we still have to live.
3. Shit happens. When it does, simply remember…and this too shall pass.
On finding success:
1. Always know the purpose of your doing. It fuels resilience which fuels performance which fuels success.
2. Success is also fragile. Stay humble, focus on what you can change and enjoy the journey.
3. Fail fast. Fail forward. The next time you redo a project, it is gonna be a whole lot better and easier.
4. When stucked and need to find the way out, one thinks best when travel alone.